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Part 1: The Divine Nature of Family and the Cradle of Love Deep Nārāyaṇa Bhagavān, Kṛṣṇa, Dev Purīṣa Mahādeva, Kṛṣṇa, Dharma Sambhṛj, Satguru Svāmī Mādhāvanājī Bhagavān, Kṛṣṇa, Sanātana, Kṛṣṇa. Welcome, everybody. Good morning. I think the translators should sit up here so people can see you, or on this side. Sometimes they understand with the mouth movement. Yes, very good. Thank you. Today is again a beautiful day. You all know this is the period of the Divine Mother. A question could be: who is not a Divine Mother? So this is my question to you. Is there any mother who is not divine? All mothers are divine. And why not the father? The father is also the holy father. If the mother is divine, then the father is holy. Perfect. And when the father and mother are holy and divine, then the children are supreme. It is a supreme creation. By birth, all children—it doesn’t matter whether animals or humans—inherit the quality of mother, father, and generation. I was just speaking with our Hungarian doctor. What is your name? Sorry, Zita. Yes, so she is also Sītā, like Rāma and Sītā. She has beautiful research work and attends many conferences. Her presentation is about how much happiness or joy the love born with the birth of a child brings. Recently, she was at a conference, and she is going to another. She will speak about this before I continue my talk. If she can come here, welcome. Will you speak Hungarian or English? Okay, so she will translate. Please take a seat. She is our long-year practitioner of yoga in her life—our, I would not say old, but long-time sister. You can go a little forward so you can hang your legs down and sit comfortably, as if on a chair. Yes, good. Zita (Sītā): Very good. Thank you, Swāmījī, so much that I can talk about it. It is a surprise for me. I always use Swāmījī’s teaching in my heart and in my mind whenever I do research. When I research, Swāmījī is always in my mind and in my heart. I work at one of the universities of the medical faculty in Budapest. I asked about 64 questions about how mothers look after their newborn babies and how love was born for them. (To give you the chance to translate? Thank you.) One of the main questions was when they think love was born for their newborn babies. About 27% answered that before they got pregnant—since their puberty—they had a dream that they would like to have a baby and would love it. Several said the love was born during pregnancy. All together, before pregnancy and during pregnancy, 87% of the mothers developed love for their baby. Only less than 1% developed love after the birth, or were even uncertain about it. I asked them whether the love for the newborn baby was similar or different during pregnancy and after delivery. A significant number answered that, basically, the love was very similar, but the feeling that they could touch or see their baby was the difference—not the love itself. I asked whether the love for their children was different from their love for anyone else in their family or around them—like for their husband, friend, or parents. The answer was significant: for the children, the love will never stop. They will forgive everything, and it is basically limitless. It was also shown significantly that the feeling for the child will never go away; they forgive everything, without borders. At the same time, it was interesting that they told many sentences about love for other people around them—their family or parents, and so on. They answered that love can stop. As a general rule, to the approach "Can love stop?", a significant number of mothers answered yes, they can stop loving other people. When it came to other family members and they had to write a few sentences... I asked, "When can they stop? What is the reason?" They answered: "If they cheat me, if they lie to me, if they don’t behave properly." I asked, "How would you behave if you loved them? Do they talk about it, or what do they do?" Unfortunately, a significant number had a kind of passive behavior: "I leave it. I don’t communicate with them. I leave the situation." Hardly one or two from the 500 answered that they tried conflict resolution—to speak about it or do anything to help solve the conflict. One more important question they answered was whether there was any difference during pregnancy in how they felt about their own child and other children. The answer was that there was a significant difference. For them, the self had immense importance. They really showed significantly different traits, different emotional expressions about their own children. The last important point was that family is very important for them, mostly the mother’s own family, which was interesting. They hardly showed big emotional interest in the husband’s family, but mostly in her own family. Basically, they would like to share everything with their own family. Of course, I let them speak by themselves; I did not interrupt their answers. So it was very obvious that they show certain symptoms in what we call our everyday life and everyday love, which means their love can stop. They make differences: whether I love one child better than another. Or even if they don’t do it, they have a worry: whether they can love the second child in a similar way to the first one. So it means we have a lot of things to do to show a good model for our children: how they love each other, and how they show the so-called love signal, because we show our love through love signals—what we give to them, what we share with them. It is very important to show good examples in relation to love. It is important to give, because many people need to confirm the love signal—the love through love signals. Basically, we do not have a special organ to perceive love. Like we have organs to see visual or acoustic signals, we do not name at least a specific organ to perceive love. I’m going to conferences within a month to speak about it, and of course it includes all Swāmījī’s teachings and all that I learned from all of you, and all of the love and teaching of the mothers with whom I worked together over the years. And my own child is teaching. Thank you very much. Swāmījī: Thank you, Sītā. Very interesting for all. You have awoken the love again in the hearts of many young mothers here. Many are looking forward. I wish them all the best. But it would be interesting for the next interviews to be about the father. How does a father feel? When he gets news that he is going to be a father, how does he feel and wait to have his child in his hands? How does his relation change with his wife during and after the birth of the child? This kind of research is very important now, in this modern world, to maintain family relations—meaning also our social life, our societies—to create harmony in civil societies. It shows very clearly the relation of the mother towards her own parents. We say blood is thicker than water. It’s very hard for women to balance between their own parents and their new parents, meaning the husband’s side parents. Yes, tradition is like this. When you are born as a girl, you enjoy your family house until a certain age. Then you have to renounce and go to the husband’s house. So you have two births: in one family and a second family. And children are always acknowledged by the dynasty on the name of the father’s side, which sometimes makes the woman’s heart, and her parents’, too. So this is a beautiful family research work, and it would be very good to work in this direction. You see, every mother and every father loves their children—except in certain cases. A problem also comes between brothers and sisters, the children. Sometimes their parents also fall into the manipulation of a certain child against another child, which is not normal, but unfortunately it happens. Sometimes they keep one child completely away; they don’t share anything with them. Of course that child is suffering. A child is a child; even if you are ninety years old, you are still the child of your parents. So now, in this modern age, it is really a question mark: are there happy families? You should marry, you should have children, but you must know that this marriage and these children are your final part of life. And this is missing a lot. Many marriages break after children, and people are changing and remarrying and changing. Our ancient system, the society and family system, we neglected. I think I know, if I’m not wrong, that in Christianity, only one marriage is allowed, not a second. And now you see in the Christian world how many times people are remarried. Definitely, I wouldn’t say the church, but the rules of this religion are very correct. They were thinking of the children very much. Because the children are the culture of tomorrow, children are the future of the nation, and children are the light of humankind in the future. When children do not receive proper care and love from the parents, then they, in turn, cannot give. So think over. If you’re going to marry, then be sure that there is no more divorce. That’s fine, final. Even if your wife stands in the kitchen with the chapati roller, don’t say anything. You should have thought before. So husband and wife are one part, like Gaurī Śaṅkar: Śiva, half masculine and half feminine, is within us. You are in the body of the male, as a man, but in your consciousness, more dwells a female—except what we call nowadays the gay. So every man is dwelling in and attracting towards the female power, energy. And in the other direction also, every female has more in the consciousness of male, which you can’t hide, you can’t stop. When a very beautiful, good, strong man is coming, or a young boy, 20–30 years—I’m doing research every day—mostly all females’ eyes are turning towards him. Not with bad intention; it could be like a brother, a kind of friend, or a husband, something. It has automatic reflex. The flame goes in the direction of the wind. And if someone, a young lady comes, or a lady comes, even maybe 80, 90 years old—because when you are sitting in the front, you see every movement from everyone, and eye movements—so the male immediately goes their attention that side. Maybe not with a bad intention; it could be motherly, fatherly feelings. Feelings—so that is what Sītā said—we need a signal. That signal is the word, not an organ, but an object. So we need some object to feel and create that love through the visions, sound, smell, etc. Therefore, in ancient times—and in your countries also, I’m sure it was—but in India, to protect the society and maintain the family was very interesting. Even now they are doing this, but whether they follow or not is a different matter, because the modern world has everything. There came such hurricanes, so from the seeds from one field to another field, to other countries, and so on. And the question is, why not? So you can’t give any commentary. It’s okay, good. We are now global, but what they always say in the conference is, "Think globally and work locally." So any elderly lady comes, who could be about 20 years, 15 years older than you—doesn’t matter man or woman—they will address her as Matajī, mother. You see her for the first time. Now when you say mother, then it’s clear. You have love for her as a mother, and she will have her love for you as her child. And if some lady is in your age, a few years above or below, automatically, even if you see her for the first time, you say, "Behenjī, sister." And when it is about 10, 15, or 20 years younger, you will say, "My daughter, my child." So this culture unites the society; it doesn’t divide the society. And once you say sister or daughter or mother, then you should maintain it lifelong. And you will have no problem maintaining it. It’s very, very easy and becomes like one family. So that woman whom you said mother will never now think of you as a boyfriend or a husband. And in this way, you will have a lifelong happy life. So there are certain ways to protect the families according to our ancestors’ instructions: man-made world and God-made world. The God-made world is perfect, and the man-made world is imperfect. There are so many conferences going on around the world: food problem, water problem, environment problems, and searching for sustainability and wasting billions of dollars, and the result is zero. Why did we come to this point to achieve sustainability? The Creator has created this, our world. He thought a lot. And He made all the systems which are sustainable. But we disbalanced it, we destroyed it, and now we think to join again. But no one takes one step toward getting a better world: limit our needs, limit our greed. All this conference is going on for the commercial things, for the companies, the money. Now they call it the green economy. So I was sitting in a conference, and I was very interested to understand what is green economy. I was happy. I thought, "Now, more vegetarian eating, and grain, and many tree plantings, and so on." There was not one word about vegetarian eating, and many fruits, and many trees, and nothing. But through this water and through this forest, we can grow our economy. So what I used to say always: the one wise American Indian said, "The last tree will be chipped off, and the last fish will die. Oh man, then you will realize that you can’t eat your dollars." So, this word "green economy" is wrong. It should bring something different, name. So, my dear, we began that every mother is a holy mother. But through some circumstances or certain illnesses, that mother may do something wrong which children don’t like. Because of her illness, or her behaviors are manipulative, or she remarries somewhere and they don’t like you—because when you remarry, then be sure your child will suffer. Then the child is divided into many families: her family, the family of the father, the child, and the other man with whom you are going. Now it is shared in many pieces. Then the fourth one who can calm down this child is the babysitter. So what do we expect for our future? From our youth, they are not guilty. Guilty are we, the parents. So the most beautiful and best education which we get is in the parents’ lap. The lap of the parents should be available for a whole life. And when the mother or father dies, how much pain we feel—that we lost that lap of love, that cradle of love, that cradle of security. But the mother and father’s lap is lost before. Now they have a laptop. So children don’t have a place on their lap; they replace the laptop. Part 2: The Field of Dharma What we imagine about our future is darkness. No matter which path we take, the more we move towards a purely economic focus, the more we damage ourselves. Mother Nature has enough for our need, but not for our greed. Let us return to the point I spoke of today, and what our dear sister Sītā was telling us. She now has good points to research further. You can quote what your master said there: it is about inner karmic purification. Many of us are blessed ones who fully enjoyed the love of our parents. Our parents were together, they never quarreled, they did a lot for us and gave us everything. We are blessed. But many have not had this experience. Many come to me—young kids, maybe 20 or 30, even elderly people—and they cry. "What is my destiny? Why do I have this situation?" A small child, four or five years old: for three days the father can take him from kindergarten, and on other days the mother has him, and the mother again gives him to some babysitter as she goes with her new husband or friend somewhere. The child becomes a ping-pong ball. That is truly not good. So which karma, which destiny is this? Often, many of us sit and see a happy family—happy parents holding the fingers of the father and mother, with a little child walking with them. How happy they are. I think of many other things: "I didn't have the finger of my father. I didn't have a father to walk with me, my parents, to take me in his hands and put me on his shoulder or carry me." Every child has this expectation. We killed it. We took it away from our children. Therefore, I always say you should have many children. No problem. Hungary needs more population. You know, Hungarians and your government are happy when you have good children, happy children. Hungary is a prosperous land with a good climate, good soil, everything—and other countries too. But decide, be sure: this is now a lifelong commitment, fixed to this one path. That is why you cannot have a second marriage in the church. If a priest does it, he goes against the principle of Christianity and the Bible. These are very clear instructions. One marries and takes care of both sides, and no one dies younger. If one dies at some point, then you live with your children, you raise your children. You have to give the love of both parents to the child. Otherwise, we marry with selfish feelings. There are so many boys and girls I see, sitting every month with some other boy, every year some other one, and she says, "Please bless me." How many boys have I blessed? That also means how many girls I have blessed. Either my blessing doesn't function, so what am I? I live with that ancient tradition and culture because I read, I see, I feel how happy humans were. At that time we didn't have enough comforts, but we were happier than now. We had no cars, no electricity, no telephones, no heating in the rooms, and no hot water. The toilets were outside in the garden—still, many Hungarians, 40%, have toilets in the garden, except in big cities. Even in the middle of Budapest, there are many houses where old people live, and they have this in the garden. They are not dying from illness there. The savour is this: it is much better than the other system which goes into the Danube. They always had a system; many other creatures developed there and neutralized everything, so it was not a problem. We didn't have any of these modern things at all. Now we have everything. Even kings at that time did not have the comfort you have here today. But we are not happy. We are struggling and talking about what to do. In that time, life was comfortable and happy. A person who wanted to go from Budapest to Vienna faced a journey of two, three, or five days with a horse or ox cart, or by walking. That was a kind of journey, like going to the Himalayas. It took a few days to go to Vienna from Budapest—300 kilometers. How many days did you need? You could walk a maximum of 40 kilometers a day easily at that time. And what about us? After a five-kilometer walk, we say it was a wonderful walk. People were healthy, they had strength. Their immunity was the best. They were not so easily attacked by any flu, and there was very little of what we call cancer and other diseases, because they lived in a natural way. Now, the question returns: karmic cleaning. A young man or woman sits at the bank of the Danube, looking towards Budapest and thinking, "God, what destiny do I have? I lost my parents. I know where my mother is and where my father is. I can say, 'Hello, Mother,' and that's all. Or, 'Hello, Father,' and that's all." Along with this feeling, a terrible pain and tension is created in our psyche. What to do? It is out of our hands. It was the decision of the parents, meaning I had no decision. Then I have a right. You see in the Mahābhārata, when you read the Mahābhārata—the dynasty of the Kāuravas and Pāṇḍavas—on the Kāurava side, there was a figure called Bhīṣma. Bhīṣma should have become the king, but this story is long. Bhīṣma’s father fell in love with another woman. She was not married, of course. She was from a boatman family, one who brings people from one bank to the other. The king saw her and fell in love. That was the signal, the object. Without an object, there is no subject. When the subject comes, then you have to work towards the object, unless there is some objection to your subjection. The father of the girl gave a condition to the king: "You can marry my daughter only if her child becomes king. You have one child, and he is the elder one, so he will be king. So sorry, I can’t marry my daughter to you." The king became depressed. Many doctors, Āyurvedic practitioners, came, but he grew paler and paler every day, like an anemic disease. I have explained sometimes the different kinds of fire: Vairāgyāgni, Jāṭharāgni, Kāvanyāgni, Krodhāgni, and Kāmāgni—the fire of passion. He was suffering. He didn’t look after the work of his kingdom, and all the people were sad. "What happened to the king?" This is like going for some treatment—rehabilitation, or a kind of course to lose kilos, a spa. People fast, taking only milk and bread or only juice, and they lose the kilos. When they come back from that rehabilitation center, on the way they go shopping. With two or three bags full in the car boot, they fill the freezer. A two-month course is lost in five days. In five days, you are again like a bean that is dry and small in the evening, but popped up in the morning. So you come home again. Such a course or retreat is not healthy. Many times, boys and girls lose so many kilos because of Jāṭharāgni. They go to the doctor: "I have pain, pressure in my chest." They do ECG and many other things but find no physical problem. Then some wise doctor, like all of you, asks, "Do you have some problem?" "No, I have no problem." "Some emotional issue?" "Yes." Then the doctor says, "Yes, I know now." The king became pale. His son came to know: "My father is suffering because of that one woman he would like to marry." Bhīṣma was the son of Gaṅgā. The holy Gaṅgā came only for a certain time and then disappeared. Bhīṣma was also a kind of divine incarnation. A child of miracles will also disappear. When Gaṅgā went away—after she married that king—she told him, "I want one promise: whatever I do, don’t ask me why, don’t say no to me, and don’t tell me not to do it. If I am to be with you lifelong, the moment you ask me why or say no, that will be the last day or minutes of our being together, and I will go back into the Gaṅgā." So Gaṅgā Putra Bhīṣma, the son of Gaṅgā, came to know of his father's plight. He went to the father of that girl and asked him, "What is the difficulty? Any objection? Why not?" He said, very simply, "My daughter’s child should be king, that’s all. But the problem is you are the eldest." So Bhīṣma said, "I promise, I will quit being king, and her child will be king." The father of the girl said, "Okay, you can quit your rights, but you have no right to quit the rights of your children. Your child might come first, and that child has the right." So Bhīṣma said, "I promise that I will never marry." Then the father agreed, and the story goes on for a long time. The Mahābhārata is one of the greatest and biggest epics ever written—how many thousand mantras? Many, many. It is great. When you read this Mahābhārata, or watch one beautiful video of it, it is very interesting. But don’t watch it as if it were just a story; it will recall your qualities. Which side are you on? You will choose, you will find it. Sometimes you are on the Kaurava side, sometimes on the Pāṇḍava side, and you will know which of your qualities are playing that role. Yes, sometimes Draupadī, sometimes Gāndhārī, Arjuna’s mother Kuntī, or the Pāṇḍavas, or the Kauravas, Bhīṣma, or Yudhiṣṭhira, or Arjuna, or Duryodhana. It is a beautiful story, and that is our life. This body, as the Bhagavad Gītā begins, is Dharma-kṣetre, Kuru-kṣetre. Kṣetra means the land; dharma means righteousness. "In the field of dharma, the land of the Kurus." That was the kingdom of the Kauravas; there was the battlefield. So this body, our human body, is the dharma-kṣetra. We are born in the land of human dharma. But in this body, two forces are fighting. The Korava wants to have this, and the Pandava wants to have what belongs to the Pandavas. The Kaurava and Pāṇḍava are both brothers, real brothers from the same mother. It is difficult, so complicated. But if you see peacefully, there may be only one episode. Don’t think, "Aha, it was like that"—it was not. Automatically, it will reflect, and you will think, "Now, where are you on this plate?" You will see how the enemy is working against you, preparing for years and years of war. And when they see you are too kind, they say, "Yes, your highness. Yes, king." But inside, they are mixing the poison, grinding the poison. So it is said, "Mukhme Rām, bagalme surī." On the mouth, you have the name of God. You smile. But in the armpit, you have a knife, waiting for a certain time to push it in. You see that in the Mahābhārata. It is one of the greatest lessons one can have in life. That will wake you up. That will make your path clear. See that film. We can organize it in our ashrams during satsaṅg. Watch one or two episodes every day. It is great. So, dharma-kṣetra: the human body is that field of dharma. And in this kṣetra, how many āsurī śaktis and daivī śaktis are there? When Kṛṣṇa comes, he tells Arjuna, "Arjuna, I am not supporting you because you are the son of my aunt, Kuntī. I am on your side, on the side of dharma. So support dharma, not adharma, because adharma destroys dharma, confuses all, and pulls them towards the āsurī śaktis, the negative powers." Therefore, Kṛṣṇa said, "I am on the side of dharma, not because you are my bhakta or the son of Kuntī, but because I am on the side of dharma." If you protect your dharma, dharma will protect you. Otherwise, yes, sometimes you can be happy. Duryodhana was very happy; he was a prince who would be king. He tried to destroy the Pāṇḍavas. Duryodhana said, "Though they are my cousin brothers, I don’t want to give them even a little piece of land, not even that much with the edge of a needle which you put on the ground. Even that much I don’t want to give. I will destroy them, I will root them out." But he was rooted out completely, because ultimately, dharma prevails. Therefore, Bhagavān Kṛṣṇa said in the Bhagavad Gītā, "Arjuna, from time to time in every yuga, I incarnate to save my bhaktas, to protect dharma and destroy adharma." The Mahābhārata is so beautiful. This is a story that should touch your heart. Sometimes it is very happy, and sometimes our heart weeps blood. What can a human do because of one humiliation, or because of the greed for power over others? You know, Europe had wars in every century, if not more than two. In the last centuries, how many wars have you had in Europe? But still, we haven’t learned enough, because their blood is boiling in the fire of revenge. So, karmic purification will only take place through Dharma. You are standing in the field of dharma. You have to work against adharma and protect all who are in this dharma. Dharma rakṣita rakṣitāḥ: when you protect dharma, dharma will protect you. You will see in the Mahābhārata, so many times in critical situations, when Kṛṣṇa came, he didn’t let you go down. And even Kṛṣṇa said, "I will not fight, Arjuna. I will not take any weapon. I am only your charioteer. That’s all. I will stop the chariot when you want. I will drive the chariot in the direction you want. But I am with you, that’s all." But it is said, when you are with me, then the whole universe is with me. There is a beautiful bhajan, and this bhajan is very, very good. You have to understand this bhajan: "Guru Devamare Pashkade..." So, the purification, the inner karmic purification, my dear. In the Mahāśivapurāṇa, which is another beautiful, beautiful story—the story of Satī. Satī goes back to her parents because they didn’t invite Śiva. When Satī comes to her father’s house where the yajña should be, her father was talking such bad things about Śiva. Pārvatī, the Śakti, said, "Father, do not pollute me through these words. You spoke so badly. I can’t go so polluted to Śiva again. Don’t pollute me." But he kept on talking and talking. And you know what happened to her father, Dakṣa? This is another beautiful video. So there is the Mahāśivapurāṇa, the Mahābhārata, and the Rāmāyaṇa. These three have a great lesson. You don’t need to study any other scriptures. This is called Jñāna Sāgara, Atha Jñāna Sāgara—the ocean, the endless ocean of wisdom. But all you have in one place... "Gurudev, mere jab paas khade mai aas karo, kisa ki, kisa ki..." So please, on the bhaktis and other... Other... Hey boys, you come this side. Those who don’t sing and are not singing should not sit there. Come together. Harmonium players, come this side and make a nice group. Harmonium, come this side. The translation of the bhajan is already there. We will see you again in the evening, and I wish you a very nice afternoon. You will have a little walk in the area, then have a nice lunch. First, the children, parents, and those above 50 years—when they have finished, then all others will go and cook in the kitchen. Okay, so thank you. Adió. Adió.