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Deep Nārāyaṇa Bhagavān, Satguru Svāmī Madhvanandajī Bhagavān, Devādhi Deva, Devīśvara Mahādeva, blessings to all of you, the blessing of Śrī Alakpurījī Siddhapīṭa Paramparā. Thank you for remembering that fifty-year meeting with Gurujī. Generally, you people say jubilees. In our tradition, there are no jubilees, and we do not count the years. Different beliefs, different cultures. One should not count the years of the birth. But Western thought has spread around the whole world and overtook it. We do say "baras ghaṭ" and "baras ghaṭ." "Ghaṭ" means a knot, like we have sometimes between the mālā there is a brahma ghaṭ, so we do not count, but we say one step. Well, this has no meaning, nothing to say. Every soul, when descending from the astral world to this mortal world, must be chosen by some higher hierarchies in the higher level of the universe. Not that someone is beautiful or not beautiful, but see the past, past tapasyā, past karmas. In the Bhagavad Gītā, Bhagavān Kṛṣṇa tells Arjuna, "Arjuna, you practice yoga. This yoga vidyā I gave to Sūrya Nārāyaṇa, then Ikṣvāku, and certain descents, the ṛṣis," you can read in the Bhagavad Gītā. Arjuna practiced yoga to get the perfect level of consciousness, self-realization. The practice of yoga is also karma. So, doing yoga, you will be successful. And the fire of the yoga means the knowledge of the yoga, the tapasyā of the yoga, the discipline of the yoga is like a fire that will burn all the seeds of the karma. Seed means growing again. Seed means reborn again. But those who have made such a tapasyā and discipline and the control of the indriyas and vāsanās, that yoga is that one that you will get liberation. There is no seed to be grown. All karma is burned. We do it now. Karma means the tree drinks the water. The tree consumes nourishment from the soil, but the seed of that tree cannot grow anymore. So the self-realized soul is descending into this world and dedicating service to all creatures. Living in this world, whatever he is doing is free from the karma because this karma will not be fruitful. The darkness cannot come near the light. The butter will melt in the sun. Similarly, automatically, when you reach a certain higher level, it cannot touch you. It means your soul, your ātmā. That Jīvātmā, when it goes to Paramatmā or Brahmaloka or Satyaloka, there is a possibility that divine destiny transfers this consciousness again to this mortal world. Not your wish. Not your choice. You are not elected. You are selected, so such a divine great master comes to this world. The precious stone pārasa can turn iron into gold, not into the pārasa, but the master turns the disciple into the master. And so was our beloved Holy Gurujī Śrī Svāmī Madhvanandajī. The river is flowing; if you drink, drink it, or you go thirsty back. So, otherwise, those who do not understand their condition, one saint, Kabīrdās, said, "I see a fish thirsty in the water, and I must laugh. Full of the stomach, how the fish is thirsty in the water." So how is it that people, disciples in the presence of the Gurudeva, are still searching for different desires, different fulfillments? There are different techniques, so they come here to rescue, to the salvation of certain souls. I do not say that I was the chosen one, neither the elected one, but the immortal blessings, the words of Mahā Holī Gurujī, say it. Before my birth, it was the promise of our divine Swayambhu Śiva Svarūpaha Devapurījī. Promise to Mahāprabhujī that from Śivaloka I will send some soul. I do not know who that is. Maybe Premanāndjī, Gajānanjī. Because these certain sannyāsīs, I know they are 100% disciplined, following, but time to time you have to fall down. So at the time of Devpurījī, when he walked on the water in the Nakitala of Mount Abu, you know the whole story. So when the British officer asked him, Mahāprabhujī said, "This is the right mantra. I will send someone from Śivaloka to the West." And constantly, Holy Gurujī said, when I asked Holy Gurujī, "Why do not I have so many Indian disciples?" Holī Gurujī said, "Mahesh, I cannot say anything against Devpurījī's Mahāvākya, number one." Same thing Devpurījī said to Mahāprabhujī. I do not know why Holī Gurujī wrote some poems and bhajans. Many disciples Holī Gurujī had, and he was strict to me. I was strict to him, but I do not know why Gurujī said this. And this is Gajānāth, who likes to sing always. Even I do not know this poem exactly, and that is called Śivlokṣe. So "Śivaloke Śiva ne bhejā." And further I cannot say, I feel myself ashamed to say about my glory. The great one never said that I am great. Like a diamond does not price itself, a diamond does not say that my value is a million dollars. It is we who said, "Oh, diamond." So Bhagavān Kṛṣṇa said in the 12th chapter of the Bhagavad Gītā, "Be above name and fame." So somehow it happened. Ought to be. And so when the soul, descending from the sūkṣma-loka, brahma-loka, jīvātmā, everything is prepared, and you come. When the ambassador comes to some country, in the home country, everything is properly prepared. Because the ambassador represents the president of the country. Similarly, the Satguru, a disciple, a real disciple, represents the Brahman of this māyā. Otherwise, it is said this is a purpose. This is a problem between Brahmā and Māyā. Surdhājī said the fighting between these two, so it happened. But there is a test, a lot of test, life of Kṛṣṇa. The birth of Krishna was not easy. How many had to suffer? Even his mother had to suffer. He was born in the prison. Does God need this? That is his Līlā, his divine play. What was the birth of Jesus? Because you know more about Jesus. What was the condition of his mother? We do not know. It was not easy, and it was not easy at all. Look at his mother, that she had to give birth somewhere in an animal stable, like a prison. That mother only, she knows; we do not know. Was it necessary that Jesus, such a great ātmā, had to come like this? But this is only the way to show us. Nothing is given to you just like that. Diamonds—how many mines we have to dig for a little diamond, how many tons of the rocks you have to break into the powders. So we are, so still we do not know. I do not know, but I know only one thing: that for me, it was a great joy to serve and follow the Vākyas of my Gurudeva. I was also born in a small village where there were no roads, no electricity, no sweet water, only rainwater, raining only during monsoon time, three or four times, that is all. Groundwater was salty. Sometimes we were so thirsty. So where we had some man-made pond, talāp, there we dug something little, ten feet or three meters deep, and some sweet water was there, underground water. And we went down in the water well with a water pot, five liters, ten liters, and took like this one ball, and we were collecting the water to fill half an hour or one hour. See, little water came. But still we were happy. People were joyful. We did not have a school. In British times, there were no schools for the village people. All in big cities, rich people, we had enough to eat, but nothing to sell to get money. We had big families, and all village people were supporting each other. The whole village was one family. No fighting. It was beautiful. Well, you know that I had first three sisters and then three brothers. I was the last one, and the last one is always spoiled. Yes! When I remember when I was one and a half years old, or two years old, three years old, and we all were sitting eating together, I used to eat a little bit with this brother, a little bit with another brother, a little bit with my sister. Joy, joyful. I never heard or saw that my parents quarreled. What Mother said, that was the final. Because the mother is the home minister and finance minister. Father is the foreign minister and the labor minister. Father has to work, give money to mother, and never ask what you have done with the money. Grown with love, but a very tough life. I heard that my uncle is a very great person. Many great people adore him. I do not know who the great people are. Because you never saw the great people. Sometimes the military airplanes were flying, and I used to say my uncle is sitting inside. I do not know what is the sādhu. I never saw a sadhu growing. But I do not know why I had no interest in anything. I was searching. I was introverted. But not that I am slow or a little psychically disturbed. I want to know what I want. I had no interest in anything. Well, in 1963, at the same time when Mahāprabhujī also went to mahāsamādhi, Mahāprabhujī went in December and my father went in April. Well, we all love our parents, no? There is nothing to tell. When a mother or father dies, or a brother or sister dies, we are sad. But, you know, every evening my father was making prayer and sitting and making mālā. And I was sitting on his lap, so sometimes I took the mala and I did. Then I put it in his neck, so he took it back and was not making malās. I do not know what I was counting, but I did not know how to count. Two, three years old child, so meditation and pūjā, ceremonies, through my father's blessing on his lap, it was great. I felt so peaceful. My father used to go to two kinds of talāb, or ponds, lakes, man-made lakes. One is for washing and swimming, and one is for drinking water. There, nobody should go and wash anything. So I used to go with him, holding his finger, and go with him. Their father, after washing and bathing, was doing Gāyatrī Mantra, Sūrya Namaskār, Prāṇāyāma, Sūrya Vedānta. I do not know what this is all about. But I was looking at him and doing something. Then he introduced me to Śīrṣāsana, Sarvāṅgāsana. He said, "This only the yogīs can do. If you want to do this, you will be a great yogī." I do not know what a yogī is, but because I heard it would be great, I did it. Then I did not like it. Children play. So I did not know what I wanted. I was searching. There are different things. Father passed away. My best friend passed away. So you can say, "Father is my best friend, best master." We have to educate the children and give such a love that children will really follow the parents. Not with the force. Well, I was grown and was thinking of my uncle because I did not know what a guru is and what a sannyāsī is. Still, I did not see the orange dress because my village people are a little bit different. Still, I have a problem with them. But in that village, no one can eat meat. No one can bring meat or alcohol, and not even eggs. And not cutting green trees. Now one can kill any animals. Now, maybe a little different. Well, I want to know something. I want to become something. And they tried to send me to school, and I was sitting in class and always writing R-R-E, R-R-E. I said, "I do not want this." This also, but anyhow. After, when my father passed away in April, Gurujī came in July to bless my mother, and I was in some field with my most loving horse. She was next to my mother, and she still comes in my dreams. In two or three months, she comes. So I was there, and the first time, one jeep came into that village. And the whole village gathered. And someone told me, "Look, look, someone came." And I ran. And I saw Gurujī walking, a mighty person. Personality of Gurujī and orange dress. The Mahārāja was coming with him in that jeep, and I said, "I want to be like this." Really, I am not making a joke. What I am searching for, that is what I want, but a little bird wants to lift the whole mountain. Is that possible? Yes, a bird may fly over, but it cannot lift the mountain up. So I say to myself, "Where is the sun, and where does the light fly?" And Gurujī was walking towards the house to bless my mother. He was sitting in front of the house. I wanted to come close to him. No chance. So many people. I wanted to go down there, and then again somebody pushed me back. After half an hour, Gurujī left. I remained alone. Sad. He came. I was waiting to see my uncle. And I never saw anyone like that, and he is gone. It was like a glimpse. I was crying the whole night, and the next day as well. Mother said, "Do not worry. One day you will see him." I said, I do not want to see him. Why did not he look at me? She said, "Look, there are so many people." I am searching. Then came one postcard. Invitation to Mother for the Guru Pūrṇimā 1965 on the 13th of July, Saturday. Now, I was fighting between three brothers. Who will go with the mother? Can you imagine who wanted it? Everyone. I said, "Mother, if you do not take me, I will not eat anymore." So my brother said, "Yes, mother, take him with." And only morning, four o'clock, me and mother left from my village, walking about 12-15 kilometers, and we took a bus, and we drove about 60 kilometers. There was a monsoon river, so the bus could not go. It was 4 o'clock in the afternoon, so we walked about 20 kilometers, and we arrived in the evening, about 8 o'clock, in Nepal. You see, we went to my mother's house. I saw my uncles for the first time. I was sitting beside my mother, and I was pulling her sari. "Let us go see Gurujī. Where is he?" Where is he? So we went at nine o'clock in the evening in the ashram. There was satsaṅg. The function was daytime. Some ministers came. I do not know what a minister is. In the village, nothing. Only we know who have the best oxen. But he has the same condition as Jodhi Kiske, you know, he has the same condition as us. We have the same situation. And it was because of the full moon, Guru Pūrṇimā. And in front of the ashram, what Premanāndjī was describing, in the hall people were singing bhajans and Gurujī was walking outside in the yard. Mother came and made a praṇām. I made a praṇām, and he said, "Who is this boy?" So my uncle, my other uncle, said, "Sister's son." So I said, "Good. Good boy. That is all." Now I had only one wish. That he should ask me to stay with him. I told Mother, this is the condition. I will not go back home, and if he does not want me, I will disappear. I am not an easy person, you know. No, I am still. Longing, love is great. That divine love, ready to give up even the body, this worldly thing is a disappointment, suffering. That I will tell you a story after. Why I decided to become a swāmī? Only a small glimpse. My best friend, who was two or three years older, and they married, and after one or two years, they were so sad. They had to work, bring money. The wife does not like the mother-in-law. The mother-in-law does not like the daughter-in-law. Her parents do not like them, and they do not like them. I said, "Maheśvarānand, this is a fund. This is a kind of prison." Let us go with Gurujī. Well, every day I ask my mother, "Did he tell something?" She said, "Nothing." I said, "Why do not you ask him?" She said, "No, I will not ask." And if he will say no, then I was praying to some God, Hanumānjī and Rāmdevjī. I did not know anybody else. After five days, we went to see my aunt, my mother's elderly sister. And I said, "Mother, it seems he does not like us. Or he does not like me, but I want to be like him, finished." She said, "Wait." And then we came back. I was with my other uncle, and to my great joy and happiness. Mother was sitting in the ashram with Gurujī, and Gurujī asked, leave your son here in the ashram; he will go to school and stay here. And when I came to my mother and she told me, you cannot imagine my joy. But I said, "You are joking, Mother, I do not trust. Did he say? He said, 'Yes.' No, he did not say, you are only making me happy." She said, he told. My son, he told. He did not tell. She said, he told, and then again we went together next day to the ashram. And Gurujī said to me, "Your previous name... Would you like to stay with me and go to school here?" My voice stuck here. I could not say yes, out of my joy. So the next day, Gurujī called the headmaster of the school. The primary school had begun meanwhile. And said, "From tomorrow, he will come to the class." He said, "OK, I will take care of it." And so my life began with Holī Gurujī. After five or ten days, mother went back to Rūpā Vās, and something he was asking, and these are like some mistakes, so I got my first slap on my cheek. I said, "Where are you?" Yes, Gurujī was great. So he made me what I am, and I was loyal to him. Everything I did, what he said, "Do not do this," I will not do this. This will make right sometimes. So my life began, and he made me what I wanted. He brought me there where he was adoring me, which is impossible. One man brought a raw rock and sat on that rock. With the shoes, and smoking a cigarette, and putting an offering on this rock, and with the hammer and what you call the… sigil, what you call… scissors, scissors, cutting the rock, left it there in the evening. Dogs came and made some sign on the rock. Man was cleaning his nose on the rock, but after some days or months, he made such a beautiful statue and, with great ceremony, put it on the altar. And that artist, that master bowed down to this statue. So the master is the master, and we are the raw rock. We have to go through all these situations. He will make you position, give you position on the altar, in the temple. There are many stones in the mines, but why only this particular stone? They could have brought it from other rocks. But this stone had that luck, that karma. Millions of years it was lying like a rock. Now it has become a beautiful monument. That is called the work of the master, and that is called a disciple. It can happen. The disciple has ego. And very hard. And while working carefully, it breaks. Weeks and weeks, months of work, that will throw it into the garbage. So always have to be humble, softer, and go through such trainings. Then we become that one. So, my dear, you and me, we are all the same. Still, I tell my Gurudeva to form me a little more, and I tell you also, Mahāprabhujī, please form them nicely. I am not the one who can form you, because you are ready to form me, and that I do not want. You see? So a disciple is a disciple, and a master is a master. First look, first impression is the last impression. The first experience is just this, and then never change your ideas, your feelings, and work till you achieve. Dayārāmjī was telling me many stories the day before yesterday. So once you have that interest, that love, then everything else is nothing. Therefore, Mirabai said, that is why Mirabai said.