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Oṁ Balasilī Bhagavāna Deva Puruṣa Mahādeva Kī Jai, Śrīsī Dīpa Nārāyaṇa Bhagavāna Kī Jai, Alakha Puruṣa Bhagavāna Kī Jai, Dharma Samrāṭa Samādha Vānandājī Bhagavāna Kī Jai, Viśva Guru Mamundaleśvara Svāmī Maheśvara Nānājī Gurudeva Kī Jai. Our beloved Gurus, Paramparā, Deva, Puruṣa, Swāmījī, Gurudeva. Our Gurudev Swāmījī is currently in Jadan Āśram. He had to leave for a function, so he asked his disciple, Haripurī—me—to speak about my experiences in the various ashrams and a little about my country, Israel. This was a surprise, a dash order from just five minutes ago, a spontaneous program. I will begin with my arrival in India in 1996. I arrived in Jaipur early in the morning at four o'clock. I asked people in the city, "Where can I learn meditation?" That was my target in India: to learn meditation. I knew nothing about yoga, Swāmījī, or spirituality. I came blank to India. In 1996, it was still remote; people did not know much English. They just repeated after me, "Ah, meditation, meditation," without understanding. It was a big gathering, and I left when I realized they did not understand. To make it short, after some time they called an old man with a beard who looked unkempt. He told me, "Yes, I know what you are searching. You want to learn meditation. You go to an ashram." I told him, "Sorry, I don't know. What is an ashram? Please take me there." He said, "Look, you have one on this side and this side. What do you choose?" My worldly mind started to think, "He will choose the far one because he wants more money for his taxi." But then I said, "I leave everything. You choose." He chose one of them. It was our beloved mother, Vanandī Āśram, a deep, deep ashram in Sodala. Like this, the link began—my link to yoga and daily life. I arrived exactly at five o'clock, after their prayer, and knocked on the door. They were surprised to see someone, a foreigner, coming. I stayed there two days, and they told me, "Okay, one of our persons"—I have forgotten the name—would take me to Jadan, as they said that in Jadan I could learn meditation. So I went to Jadan and learned yoga from Gajananjī Mahārāj. He taught me the āsanas, the prāṇāyāmas, the meditation—all new, all first. Then Swāmījī came. I was parallel with Swāmījī for one month, and then I decided to take a mantra. I took the mantra and asked Swāmījī, "Give me advice for my life." He said, "Advice later." Later, after some time when I returned, he told me to stay in Jadan. I stayed near Jadan, then for two and a half years in Jaipur. It was a great experience—the Jaipur ashram, the city and the ashram, the outer world and the inner world. It was like learning many things in a very short time. Like this, I gained experiences. Then, after some more time, following my sannyāsa dīkṣā in 2001, Swāmījī decided I should stay in Kailāśa. So I stayed in Kailāśa, starting my journey in Kailāśa Āśram for the following 14 years. In Kailash, it was intense seva, hardly resting, hardly eating at times, a little too much focused and too intense, with too much longing for spiritual progress. Something happened to my health also because of this great longing. It led me to not sleep properly, not eat properly—it didn't matter. This was my short time in the ashrams, and it continued from Kailash to Nepal. The Nepal ashram was also a great experience. It was where Swāmījī inspired me very much. He said, "Look, here I used to make the bath for Gurujī. Here I used to cook for Gurujī." It was so inspiring and uplifting that I started to live it day by day. The ashram became alive suddenly because you think, "Oh, your Gurujī used to be here, his guru Madhavānandajī." I was fortunate to do some seva for Gurujī sometimes, so I also got to know Gurujī. It was all becoming a life, the living in this Nepal ashram. It sounds beautiful, but it was also hard. People were coming and going, and I was staying for years. Sometimes people came for a short time, so they were with me. I needed to first understand the person because you don't know; suddenly someone gets irritated by something, and you don't know why. You need to learn the person and fit yourself. You need to have a new world with you, living every three months. It is a great experience. It gets you to be so flexible because you cannot fix yourself, and you need to keep the happiness because without happiness, there is no juice of living. We know it, and of course, my own inner world—sometimes I realize that I am very stubborn. Things like this you see in yourself, that it is very hard to change also. You are there to change. You wake up in the morning and say to yourself, "Today I will learn and I will put it in practice." Then you learn something precious during the day and want to put it in practice, but then you forget or you fall down to your old habits, or the environment does not support you to remember. It is too intense, too emotional, sometimes too much work that you forget the reason. I mean, work is also a reason to be in an āśram, but at the same time, we should not forget the sādhanā that keeps us centered through our work, that keeps us more patient in our work and available to society if our work is combined with society. It is very important that according to our behavior, people will respond. Sometimes we have an important task to do that is important to the ashram. All these things, we have the blessings, but from our side, we need to access them and to harvest them also. Because blessings can be given, but if you do not harvest them, then you miss something. You did not get the whole blessing. Sometimes the blessing is a possibility, a chance, a situation that can be of great benefit. But if you are not taking care to behave in a way that yields the harvest for this blessing, then you actually lose it. So we need to be very honest, because many times we give reasons why we need to be having some behavior. But we know inwardly that this is not what they expect from us. We give so many reasons and say, "No, this is my way, and this is this." And then we realize again, we did it again. We know many things inwardly, but we need to be very honest with ourselves, with God, because God knows what is happening inside you, and He creates the situation. It is not only that He creates; He creates a chance to give you something, to give you progress, to give you understanding. It is in some way a progress. So now I will try to put into practice something that I understood about my qualities, and it is connected with my guru brother in Kathu Ashram, Svāmī Chandra Purījī Mahārāj. We are living together, and we have to understand that both of us are lions in the same kingdom. No? It is not so easy. When two lions are in the same kingdom, then you have some clashes. That is the way it has been done for us; there is a reason. For my point of learning about myself, let me just put the things in order in my mind. I face many times situations that I need to communicate about. In this case, with Chandrapurījī Mahārāj, Svāmī Chandrapurījī, I neglected the communication. Again he tells me, "Why don't you communicate? We are a team here, we should work together." Again and again I repeat it, and then I understood something. Why do I do this? I understood that I do not like to get a negative response. I know what I want to do. I am clear with what I want to do, and it looks to me so logical to do. I just do not want to get a negative answer, so I just do not ask. Very simple, and this I learned. This I learned. It is a small thing, but it is a lifelong thing. Because we are repeating the same patterns from life to life. If you go to understand something, then you have the chance to break it. You have the chance to break this chain, and then you are free from some kind of complex that brings you to this military lock. You see the huge benefit of it. It is a great benefit because some karma can cause you to have a new birth. What we keep in view is that, actually, my attitude in the spiritual part is that I do not want to get further births because I realized that as long as you are born, you are suffering. Because it is a packet; you cannot just enjoy, because life is very changeable. So you have to experience good and bad, and to be above this is to learn about yourself, because actually all is in us. Most of you know, almost all. What I am saying, because you are not a beginner watching this, but I am saying it because I want to share, and I want to say something. I do not know what else to say, so I am saying this so you know it, maybe, but have patience. Maybe something you will not know after some time. So I learned this, and I try to work on it now. How can I break this pattern? I feel open in me and neutral in me to get the negative—not negative, but how to say—a decision from inside that it is not necessary to do. And all my being is already in this way, to do it. I start to imagine how I do it, and what the benefit will be, and how important it is, and it will be great after. And then it is so hard for me to ask it, because then I am risking something in me, to break something in me. And this is a type of stubbornness, because I am stubborn to change it simply. So I am telling you honestly, and you may say, "Oh, it is full of complexes," but this is reality. I do not think I am the only one, but it does not matter. I am not speaking about anyone else. I am speaking about myself, and I cannot speak about others because I have enough with myself. So I need to understand myself first, then I can understand others. And it will take time. I will continue with the Nīpāl Āśram after, for some time, Bola Ghoda. Bola Ghoda was a very interesting time. It was precious time, a very special time, Bola Ghoda. We have there the Gufā of the great saints that used to live there. So the Gufā is the cave, and that is mostly Bola Ghoda. And then there was again Jadan, which was part of the time in the kitchen, in the workshop—a very precious and intensive time where I learned many things that I still need to understand, to cope with, and to solve within myself. And then it continued with the kitchen, that was again. He gave me a field to express myself, and yes, people needed to eat what I expressed. So it was not so good to express all of myself, just the part that is safer to express. So I understood this very quickly from the response of the people, and then it was a very nice time, a very great time, a very precious time. Again, I do not need to repeat "precious"; you can take it as a normal comment. Our life here is a precious life, just a precious life, because our life here is, in one way, secured. In one way guided, and the Rakṣā is supported and protected. Because of it, it gives us the possibility to concentrate on our inner world, which is the most beneficial thing for us to do in this life. Just with this, we can understand ourselves, and we can solve the things that keep us from understanding others, from understanding the world, from proceeding with our bhakti, to open the notes of our heart. What does it mean to open the notes of our heart? To understand how precious life actually is, to listen, to be exposed all the time to the satsaṅg that has there the teaching, continuous teaching. In our bhajans, our bhajans have everything inside. You can choose any bhajan, and when you come, when you translate it, you see that you have most of the spiritual parts getting explained there in one bhajan. So we are exposed to it day by day. And our seva here has a great impact on our inner self because you are in the same environment; you cannot run away. You are meeting the same people. If you have an issue, you are with it. You cannot go anywhere, you know? Let's go for a licho? No, there is no licho. There is no "let's go." There is "let's be." Let's go to the kitchen because I am hungry, and the time for eating has started. The bell has been rung, but I will see him. I will see her. You need to go. You want to eat, so you go and you do see him. You see her, and you need to digest, and you need to deal. And this causes you to focus, after some time, inside to understand why, why? Why is it irritating me? Why, why? Because the other one has his own world; that one has his own behavior, and it is not the thing that is actually creating you the things. Because the creation in you, it means it is already in you; it is already in you. So you have it. You may say the other one triggers it, but still, it is yours. It is your thing. So when you realize this and you are sincere and you are serious in the part, then you want to decide to change. Then you decide to learn to understand yourself, and this is the... I would say the relative real life. It is still not real life, because real life is after, I would say, self-realization. Then you know what is life, what is real life. But this real life of our stage, in this moment, this is real life. Because we are living day by day to understand; this is like we have a spot on our dress, and we are in the washing machine with the cloth, you know? So you are with it, and you decide for it. Different people, different reasons why people are here. But mostly we are proceeding and still staying and still struggling because something in us wants this change, wants this progress, wants this understanding. And we say again, to solve the knots of the heart, this means why we do not actually intoxicate it in God. This is our real nature. We are already born perfect, but we forgot it. It means some layers are between this understanding and realizing. And all these layers, we need to solve. It means to understand ourselves. It means to solve, to open these knots that are in our phenomenon. And this is through life, and life is there to teach you. Do not think that life is there to give you joy. This is my opinion. You may think as you like, but this is my opinion. Life is not to give you joy. Life is to teach you. Okay, you have joy because you need some inspiration and push to proceed on. And also, we sometimes take, grab this, that which we think will give us joy. But it is a very temporal joy that we enjoy, and then it is a memory. It is just a memory. And memory is, you cannot live in a memory. Then your life is, where is not here? And what is not here is not existed. Future is not existed, and past is not existed. So better to be here. And this is something also that we learn through our seva. This is the real playground to learn now, now, and actually. I experience, I must share, and you can see, you can test this in you. Once you remember this, of being present, you see that you are more calm, you are more centered, you are more relaxed, you are more under control, you are more controlling your vṛttis. It is a great benefit to bring yourself to the now, so try this, it is worthy. And what means to bring yourself to the now? Of course, when you need to plan something, it is fine, but try to dedicate the time consciously for it, that now you are planning it. And once you have done it, just try to drop it and try to return to the now. And the past, we know. The past is not so much; of course it is good to learn from past experiences, but you take all these experiences with you and you are living it now. So to dwell too much in the past is also not the best so much. You can do it for some decision of a part of half an hour, just to remember something that can give you understanding for the present situation where you are, and just try to drop it. Just return to now and apply it and proceed on. This is my way that I try to do. It is not easy. It is very hard to remember and to apply it in practice because we have so many patterns and tendencies that you need, actually, to change your whole structure in order to just do it, because you have your qualities that you need to purify. And as long as it is not purified, you are forgetting to be in the now. And once you take this as a practice, you realize we did many things, and it is a lifelong benefit. So our life here, I would say, is a precious life. This is life that Gurū Deva Swāmījī, we know Viśva Gurujī, gives us the opportunity here to do something for our self. Our self, not the self that is the God-self, but the self that is mixed with many other qualities that we need to solve in order to catch the real self, that is the God qualities, the God consciousness, God Himself, that we are part of God, and every part of God is just God. If you think about this, part of God is God, and God is perfect, so His part is also perfect. So we need to realize that we are perfect, that we are also. If you understand it, you suddenly say, "Why not?" Actually, yes, we are also. So, I do not say now we go like, "Yes, I am God, take care." No, we need to realize it first. We need to realize it, and for realizing this, we need to live our life. In most of our guru brothers and sisters, it is to live our life in the world, including the media that is very strong, including the life struggle and all these things. And many are married, and you know very well, so to take all this as a practice is extremely hard, extremely hard, and we are in their hand. The more our bhakti, the more our remembering the one that we want to reach, the more we are closer. And, of course, we cannot just say, "Sorry, my wife, today I need to remember God, so I am not going to work." It is not like this. You have your duty, but try again. I am sharing with you something that is in my 2022 situation of mine. I am trying to do my seva, but every half an hour or something like this, when I remember and try it, it is great. You just sit, close your eyes, and center yourself if you can. If no one will think that you are strange, center yourself and try to feel your heart, or whatever you believe in. Try to feel your heart. Try to say, "Yes, that is my main thing: to love you, God. To love you, God, whom you decide." If it is your devatā, if it is whatever, your heart goes there. So if you cut your sādhanā for during the day, you make a milestone during your day. You can set your alarm even, but for a time that again, that it is safe, that you can do it easily and not any difficulty. And then you take these five minutes. It is a great benefit. Great benefit: instead of spending even one hour or two hours, whatever you do in the morning, so do it during the day as a milestone, just to remind you and to center yourself. It will give you more benefit, in my opinion, and I hear this from some haṭha yogīs also. So it is not only my idea. It is not my copyright. Now Swāmījī gave me the task for 25 minutes. So I got a sign that it is quite gone. So thank you. This comes all from quite up to now ignorant soul like me, so take it not obvious. Take it with your own judgment, and if you want to try something, you can try. And if you listen, it is also a compliment for me, so thank you. Hari Oṁ. Śāntiḥ, Śāntiḥ, Śāntiḥ.