Swamiji TV

Other links



Video details

Guest

A teaching on the traditional etiquette of hospitality and serving guests.

"Never ask, 'Are you hungry? Would you like to eat something?'... So, do not ask, 'Do you want to eat?' Instead, say, 'Please come and eat.'"

"Always give and give. When it seems enough, give one spoon more... love goes through the stomach. When the stomach is happy, everything is happy."

The speaker provides detailed instructions on how to host guests with generosity, advising against asking direct questions about hunger or portion size. He emphasizes proactive service, explaining the psychology behind polite refusals and advocating for abundant giving. The teaching contrasts serving styles observed in different European cultures, upholding the principle that "the guest is God."

Recording location: Czech Republic, Strilky, Summer seminar

Eating brings joy to everyone. Even on an airplane, where space is limited and you may not be hungry, if the food does not suit your taste, you might complain, "How terrible," or, "I don't like this airline." The feeling is universal. Therefore, tradition holds that when anyone comes to your house, you should immediately offer them something to drink. We always used to first give a glass of water to a guest upon arrival. Then, offer something to eat, as you always do—some cake, biscuits, dried fruits, nuts, and so on. Afterwards, you ask, "Can we prepare something to eat?" Never ask, "Are you hungry? Would you like to eat something?" Your best friend might say, "Yes, I am very hungry," but generally, people are polite. Even if they are starving, they will say, "No, thank you." If you ask, "Do you want to eat?" they will say, "No, thank you." So, do not ask, "Do you want to eat?" Instead, say, "Please come and eat." Do not ask, "Are you hungry?" You should say, "Food is ready, please come and eat." And while serving food, never ask, "How much should I give you?" No. Just give. Many people have this habit; they have not even given half a spoonful and they ask, "How much should I give you?" This is psychologically not good. A well-educated person will simply say, "Thank you, that is enough." Therefore, never make this mistake of asking, "How much should I give?" Always give and give. When it seems enough, give one spoon more. Many times, someone is about to put a spoonful on my plate, I say, "Thank you," and they take the food away. This is psychologically not good. So, do not make this mistake. Avoid: "Are you hungry? Do you want to eat?" "Should I cook something?" and "How much should I give you?" Give all. If you do not have more, go and cook. Asking "How much should I give you?" implies you do not have enough to give freely. You are not measuring out food like a prescription for someone with diabetes—two spoons of rice, half a potato, one tomato, a quarter piece of apple, and two spoons of yogurt. That is like giving a tablet. It is not like that. I observed a very good tradition in Slovakia. There, they never ask, "How much should I give him?" They were always giving and giving, saying, "Please, Swāmījī, take more." I thought there must be some cultural similarity in Hungary as well. In other European countries, my experience was different. I am not criticizing negatively, but I am speaking about psychology, especially concerning well-educated people. They will never say they are hungry, even if they are starving or have not eaten for three days. It is the same with a guest. So, do not impose limitations. That is very important. Avoid: "How much should I give? Shall I give you more?" The second point: do not serve food in the kitchen and then just bring the plate. Stand and serve. That is good. One person from the household should always be in service. The guest is God. Serve the guest as the highest personality in your house; it does not matter who they are. They are your guest. Also, sometimes people do not ask while serving, but they show a spoonful of food. You are not a cow that will jump at it. These things are not merely cultural; they belong to the finer feelings of being human. Of course, you should not put too much. Many people will automatically say, "No, thank you, enough." When someone says no more, it is still your duty to say, "Please take a little bit more." And you know, love goes through the stomach. When the stomach is happy, everything is happy. Recording location: Czech Republic, Strilky, Summer seminar

This text is transcribed and grammar corrected by AI. If in doubt, what was actually said in the recording, use the transcript to double click the desired cue. This will position the recording in most cases just before the sentence is uttered.

Email Notifications

You are welcome to subscribe to the Swamiji.tv Live Webcast announcements.

Contact Us

If you have any comments or technical problems with swamiji.tv website, please send us an email.

Download App

YouTube Channel