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Forgetting is not the same as forgiving

A spiritual parable about two traveling monks and a lesson on attachment.

"Gurudev told us when we left, 'Do not touch the woman.' But you did not merely touch her; you carried her on your back."

"Nine years ago, I dropped her on the bank of the river. But you are still carrying her with you."

The story recounts two monks who, after a 12-year journey, are returning to their master. They recall an incident from years prior where one monk carried a woman across a river, seemingly breaking their master's rule to avoid touching women. As they discuss how to explain this to their guru, the second monk reveals the deeper lesson: the physical act was less important than the mental burden of carrying the memory and judgment for nine years.

Recording location: Hungary, Vep, Summer seminar

Two monks, gurubhāī, were traveling and wandering through the lands. When they received their monastic initiation, their master instructed them, "Go, perform your tapasyā and teachings. After twelve years, return." They set off with mixed feelings. As they began to leave, the master called out, "Wait a moment. You may do as you please, but be careful. Do not touch women. I'm sorry, ladies, okay?" And so they departed. After three years, they were seated by the bank of a river, sharing a piece of fruit. The river was swollen with monsoon rains. A young woman approached and said, "Please, can you help me?" "Yes, sister, what can we do for you?" they replied. "My father sent me to buy something from that village, but the river has so much water now, and I never learned to swim. I cannot cross." One of the monks said, "Alright. We are also going to that village. Sit, rest awhile, and have some fruit with us. Then we will help you cross." When it was time, they waded into the water with their walking sticks. The same monk said to her, "You can sit on my back. Hold on tightly; do not fall. I may have to swim, so you must hold tightly to my shoulders." And so, with the woman on his back, he swam across the river. They reached the opposite bank and said to her, "Alright, sister, all the best. Take care." She was very happy and said, "Please, let me know if there is anything I can do for you. Thank you for your help." The monk who had carried her replied, "Yes, there is one thing: learn to swim. Then next time you will be free." They parted ways. Nine more years passed. They neared their master's āshram, as he had told them to return after twelve years. Three years had passed before the incident, and now nine years after it. Gurū Pūrṇimā was in three days. The two gurubhāī were very happy at the prospect of seeing their Gurudeva. They sat on a rock, enjoying the moonlight—already bright three days before Pūrṇimā—and the pleasant weather. They were imagining, "How will Gurudeva look? How will he receive us? Will he be happy or angry? How many blessings will we get? He will ask us many things. What will we answer?" As they talked, the other brother said, "Yes, thank you for reminding me of Gurudev's vākya. Gurudev told us when we left, 'Do not touch the woman.' But you did not merely touch her; you carried her on your back. When Gurudeva asks, what will you answer?" The first monk was surprised. "Why? What are you surprised about?" "Nine years ago," the second monk replied, "I dropped her on the bank of the river. But you are still carrying her with you. What will you answer?" --- Recording location: Hungary, Vep, Summer seminar

This text is transcribed and grammar corrected by AI. If in doubt, what was actually said in the recording, use the transcript to double click the desired cue. This will position the recording in most cases just before the sentence is uttered.

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