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On Marriage and Steadfastness on the Path

On marriage and spiritual steadfastness: decide clearly and remain unwavering on the path.

If you wish to marry, do so; if not, that is also fine. The key is to avoid indecision. Decide seriously and stay steadfast, as many falter. Marriage is acceptable if you know each other, are happy, and can work together while continuing your sādhanā and karma yoga. Yet, many change negatively after marriage, losing time for spiritual practice. You can attain mokṣa even if married, though remaining unmarried is not easy for many. The danger is changing your mind later, finding a partner opposed to yoga, and falling into bad company. This leads to instability, speaking against your own self, the guru's teachings, and the community, losing all harmony. Love transcends distance; without it, even a neighbor is far away. Steadfast devotion ensures your boat reaches the mainland; jumping out is your own choice, not the captain's fault.

"It is easy to sing the song, 'Guru-Dev, I will be Thou.'"

"If there is love, then distance is no distance; millions of kilometers are no distance. But if there is no love, then a neighbor's door is millions of kilometers away."

If one has feelings and wishes to marry, then do so. If not, that is also acceptable. The important thing is to avoid constant indecision—changing yes to no, and no to yes again. This is not a way to live. Decide something seriously, and the crucial point is to remain steadfast on the spiritual path. Many fall down. When you know each other, are happy, and can live and work together—while continuing your yoga sādhanā, work, and karma yoga—then it is all right. However, I have seen many change after marriage, often in a negative way. They then have no time for karma yoga or other spiritual practices. Ultimately, you must decide seriously what you want. This is a personal, individual matter, not a general one. I speak generally because many of you are here, many are young, and you possess great devotion, a great longing for mokṣa, and a strong desire to perform karma yoga. It is my duty to provide you with comfort and a comfortable life. You can attain mokṣa even if you are married. Nowadays, it is not easy for many people to remain unmarried. The danger lies in changing your mind afterwards, running away, and finding a partner who is entirely opposed to yoga. Then you may land in bad company (kusaṅgas). That is not good; it is very unstable. You may begin to speak against your own self, against the teachings of your guru (guru-vākyas), against your guru's work, and against your spiritual brothers and sisters. You lose all harmony. It is easy to sing the song, "Guru-Dev, I will be Thou." It is very easy to say, "I will be Thou." Devotees may come and devotees may go, but still, my Lord, I will be there. It does not matter who comes and goes, or who says what. I have nothing to do with this. I know what I want, and that is all; I go far, farther than the stars. But my Lord, I will be there; distance plays no game and makes no difference. If there is love, then distance is no distance; millions of kilometers are no distance. But if there is no love, then a neighbor's door is millions of kilometers away. "When I die, even I die, then look into my eye. Mutely they will say that even while dying, I speak to thee, my Lord, that I am yours." When life after life is like this, then your boat will definitely arrive at the mainland. If you jump out of the boat, that is not the mistake of the captain or the ferryman. To jump out of the boat means to go out of the Gurudev's teaching, out of the satsaṅg, and out of the principle of following Guru Vatsakṣarī.

This text is transcribed and grammar corrected by AI. If in doubt what was actually said in the recording, use the transcript to double click the desired cue. This will position the recording in most cases just before the sentence is uttered.

The text contains hyperlinks in bold to three authoritative books on yoga, written by humans, to clarify the context of the lecture:

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