TV Channel

As it was said this morning: "Param Guru Swāmījī, māru janam sudhāryo, āj dūbatī yāgamē. O my supreme master, you made my life successful today, that I met you." What does this mean for us? It is said that minute, that hour, that day, and that year is the blessed constellation—that in that minute or second, on the very first day, with these eyes, we saw our Gurudeva. That vision went through and through. From that second, the process began. I will tell you a very personal story from my life. When I was very young—well, you were also young then—my father passed away that year. It is natural for every child to be sad when their father passes away. It doesn't matter if it's father or mother; even when our brothers and sisters are best friends, it is said blood is thicker than water. The blood relation is still more intense. So, it is not easy to digest or understand death. Another story is that my interest from a very young age was different. Perhaps I will speak more of it another time, and we can write it down. Everyone is born with certain feelings and a certain dharma. I was on a search, as if I came to this planet to search for something, and whatever I found did not bring contentment. It is like going shopping, wanting to buy a handbag, a dress, or shoes. There is so much choice—hundreds of choices—and you say, "Not this, not this... no, no." The seller does not know what you are searching for. Only you know you have a specific choice of color, but that color is different; you want a green, but it's a different green. Similarly, you reject and reject... You are not happy because you do not know what you are searching for. When my father passed away, the situation was difficult; we were all small children, and mother was alone. After about a year, he came to my village to pay his condolences to my mother. You know, my mother is the elder sister of Gurujī. Before that, we had only heard about mother's brother—we used to call him uncle—but now he is not an uncle anymore; he is Gurujī. Some people still write to me, "Your uncle." That is wrong. Do not write this. That was in a past life; that relation died. As I told you the day before yesterday about sanyāsa: what does sanyāsa mean? You cannot take sanyāsa as long as you are connected to family relations. You are not a sanyāsī, but I will talk about this next time. We often heard how Gurujī is, how great he is, but I had not seen him for many years. At that time, there was no transportation, no roads, no cars—only horses, camels, and ox carts. The distance between my birthplace and Gurujī's birthplace was long: a two-day walking distance, 15 or 18 hours of walking per day, at 8 km per hour. It was very hard to travel. One day in the afternoon, around four or five o'clock, a very peculiar jeep arrived, like a military jeep belonging to some Mahārājā. In that jeep came Gurujī, and immediately the whole village came running. They had only heard about him. Can you imagine? I was a small boy, outside with my horses—two horses and one cow—and of course, I ran too. There were so many people, and small children tried to go inside, but people said, "Hey, stay on one side." As soon as I saw the first look of Gurujī, it went through me. I said to myself, "Yes, boy, that is what you were searching for." The vision, the impression went so deep, and I said, "Yes, I want to be like that." That is what I was searching for. I remember that day so well. After 10 or 20 minutes, or half an hour, Gurujī walked away and went to the jeep. I was standing there. All the time, in front of me was that great personality, the light, orange. Yes, even now, it is always there. Whenever I remember, my heart, my eyes are full of tears and emotion. That reminds me: "Param Guru Swāmījī Mahārāj Janam Sudhāryo Āj"—that was the minute. I was ready to do anything, renounce everything, to be with him. But how? It was like a small ant wanting to fly, a small ant wanting to cross the great Himalayas. But it is in destiny that it comes. Day and night, my feelings, my visions were one with Gurujī. On one side, I was so sad that he went away; he was only there for half an hour, and I did not even have the opportunity to come half a meter closer. On the other side, my father had passed away. My question was: how to come to him? But then, a voice within me said, "It will be." After some time—a year or ten months or so—in 1965, we received a postcard. He invited my mother to the village Nipal for the inauguration of the Nipal Ashram. On the 13th of July, 1965, which was Guru Pūrṇimā, we read the postcard. My joy was indescribable. But that was not an invitation for me; that was a disappointment. The question arose: who will go with mother? There is a beautiful bhajan from Mahāprabhujī: "Patiyan bachu pivaki mare naina jararayo neer. I read the letter of my beloved, the message of my beloved. Naina jarārayo nīra, and my eyes are flowing tears. I am longing, looking for him. I am watching or observing the path. Deve Badāī Koī Pīvakī. If someone gives me the great news of my beloved, where he is or of his coming, Mange, soi nag leva. Whatever he asks, which jewel he wants, I will give." It is called the Padviranī Bhajan of Śrī Mahāprabhujī. It is very beautiful. "Sunorī Sajanī Maro Lāgo Pīvasane Bhagya Dhan Mera Merī Bhāya Gai Gurudev." This is the bhajan in Padviranī. "Sunorī Sajanī, listen, my friend, Maro Lāgo Pīvāsane, that I fell in love with my Lord, with my Pīvāsane. Sunorī sajanī maru lāgopī vasaneyā bhāgya dhana merā. What a great fortunate one I am! Bhaagya dhana mera, meri bhaaya gai Gurudev. That Gurudev has held my hand." After three days passed, my saṅkalpa was to go with Māṭājī. I said, "Matajī, I will go with you." She said, "Yes." My other two brothers said, "Yes, keep quiet." Elderly brothers are always right; elderly sisters are always right. Anyhow, mother said I could go. Can you imagine the joy? That joy is still continuing. That was the opening door for me to enter. Early morning, my mother and I walked about twelve kilometers to catch a bus, which ran only once a day. We got on the bus. On the way, the bus stopped because it was monsoon season; it was raining, the rivers were flowing, and the way was blocked. Around 2 or 3 o'clock, we got off the bus and had to walk a long way, about 30 to 40 kilometers. Again, my mother and I walked. She knew the way because it was her birthplace. For me, it was the first time. I was not tired; my legs were not walking, I was flying—to see Holy Gurujī again and see my other uncles. We arrived around 9 o'clock in the evening. We were very happy to be at my mother's home. Everyone came visiting, saying, "Hello, how are you?" and so on. Mother was talking with her elderly brother, and I was sitting and pulling her cloth. I said, "When will we see Gurujī?" Around 9:30 or 10 in the evening, with my other uncle, we walked to the ashram. Again, something happened. We were walking to the āśram, and Gurujī was walking towards us. He did not know we were coming. Oh God! Again I saw him. I was like a schizophrenic, hypnotized. But I had to use all my energy not to explode. I made a praṇām, and Gurujī spoke with me. He said, "How are you? What is your name?" Āśramaṁsa Manojeshwarananda—now you see, desire has no end. One saṅkalpa after another. When you get one finger, you want the whole hand. When you have the whole hand, you want to hold the arm. Then you want the upper arm, and then you want to hug. That is how we humans are: one saṅkalpa after another. And how quickly saṅkalpa is fulfilled. I wanted to stay with Gurujī. That was my wish, but I did not dare to say it to Mother. I did not dare to say anything. But in my imagination, I wanted to stay with him. After three days, my mother and I went to some other village to visit her sister and other relatives. There, I talked to her: "What do you think if I stay with Gurujī and go to school here?" She said, "Well, if he will allow." I said, "Okay. Pity." I said again, many different names of gods. At that time, I did not know Mahāprabhujī's name in this life. When we came back after a few days, we went to visit Gurujī before noon at 11 o'clock. Gurujī was sitting there. Mother made praṇām; I was hiding behind her, made a quick praṇām, and then sat on the other side. Gurujī said to my mother, to his sister, "What do you think if he would go to school here and stay with me?" Oh God! I was pulling mother's dress. I just said, "Yes." And Matajī said, "As you wish. Anyhow, he would like to stay." Gurujī said, "Then no problem. Okay. Tomorrow you go here, Nipar school." School. Again. I did not want to go to school. That is why I wanted to go away from Rūpa Vāsanā. This is a problem of children, but it was one of the beautiful events of my life. And Mahāprabhujī was waiting, pushing me from inside, uplifting me. When I remember these visions from my life, I understand what the Gurudeva means. It is the same thing that Gurujī is describing. As Gurujī saw in the first minute, Mahāprabhujī, how great it was. So this is not about trying to understand your Gurudev; it is there. But if you close your eyes and run away or hide yourself, then the karmic curtain closes. Distance begins more and more. You lose the hand. You try to catch it, but it does not come. And that is it. So, that year, that month, that hour, that second, where your inner self was opened and realized—and that yogī is waiting for that. Of course, sometimes, or most of the time, it was not easy. Guruji was a man of discipline and strictness. Many flow away. Hard test, hard test, till the last drop is pulled out. And still, if you are surviving, then he will put energy in you. To serve Gurudev is not easy. But inside his heart, he loves you more than anything. One saint said, which your holy Gurujī often repeated, that more than parents, God loves you. But more than God, the Gurudev loves you. Understand that. That is very important. Therefore, our sādhanā began on that day. Whether we should stop or continue? But a bhakta who realized once, one touch is enough. Like Swami Gajananda wrote a bhajan in English: "How hard is it with you, my Gurudev. Sometimes I am thinking to leave you, but how can I leave when you are within me?" So when he is within you, wherever you run, he is there with you. An English song: "How is that? How is that? Yeah, Swamiji, you live within me." And so the spirituality, the sādhanā is carried on like that. Gurujī had immense love. His love was indescribable. Only rare people could understand. And, of course, the rest of my time with Gurujī, you know all. The time had to come, and it came, that anything Gurujī wanted to do, he asked me. And when I asked him, he said, "You know." So Mother Duck is watching the babies, throws them into the water, and just takes care. But one day they will fly. Therefore, it is said, Gurujī said, "Akhīyā Satguru Caraṇomela." To continue that first impression, to keep it in your mind all the time, remember this: in order to get realization or fulfillment, we have to continue our practice. It should increase day by day. It should not decrease; otherwise, it is said, slowly, slowly, that emotional love dies. The husband shouts at the wife, and the wife blames the husband. Such love should not die. Therefore, Gurujī said, "Nīṭha Nīṭha Prem Mera Adhika Baḍijo. Day by day, my love should increase, O Mahāprabhujī." Nitha Nitha Prem Mera Adhika Badijo. And so, that devotion, that love, that intensity should increase. That means practice. Now you know, that is the road. Now, how to go, you should know. You have all the facilities, possibilities, and abilities: ability, facility, possibility. And if you still do not do it, then it is stupidity. So practice every day and make the journey within thyself. What promise did you give, and what answer will you give? O my dear, when you came from the astral world to the physical world, you promised something to dear God. You spoke to dear God, "I will do. Please give me a chance." Are you following this? When you come back, He will ask you. And where are your words? Looking down. Try to escape, but where? When you look down, He is there. When you look this side, He is there. Everywhere, omnipresent. Kṛṣṇa said, it does not matter through which belief and spiritual path you go. At the end, I will be there for you. So, there is nowhere to escape in the entire universe. Do follow your promise. What will you say to Gurudev? Where are your sweet promises? Therefore, there are many, many beautiful bhajans. We should sing the bhajans, and we should also practice prānāyāma, āsanas—first āsanas, then prānāyāma, then meditation—to dive within thyself, analyze thyself. Do not worry; do not think it is too late. It is never too late. Even at the last breath of this life, if he comes, you are successful. What does "he" mean? Self-realization, Gurudev, or God. That is it. It is very important. Therefore, "Nītā Nītā Prem Mera Adhik Bade Jo"—day by day, my love should increase. There was one great saint who wrote a beautiful bhajan. It is something like this: "Milta Hai Sacha Sukh," like this bhajan. "Śūrat Dekī Āprīyo Guransha, Dūjan Āve Moe Duāe. I saw your sūrat, your face, now I do not like any other." Which sūrat? That light, that spirituality, that divinity. So, the physical world is on one side, and the spiritual world is on the other side. The physical world will disappoint you, but the spiritual world will not disappoint you. And that spiritual world—do not search outside; that is within you. You are the king of all, but though you are a king of yourself, you do not know how to rule your kingdom. That is your problem. Once, the Indian president invited Gurujī. Gurujī arrived there. They welcomed him, put him in a nice room, and the personal secretary of the president phoned that room and asked Gurujī some questions to confirm it was indeed Gurujī. He was that person. He was South Indian, so that secretary could not speak Hindi well. He said, "Swamījī, what is your designation?" Gurujī said, "King of the whole universe." So you are the king. You are the king of this world within thyself. One great saint said, "Tum Manendriyam Kare Rājā, Ātmā Yantar Jāmī. You are the king of your mind and your senses. Mat kar tū iskī gulāmī, don't be the slave of this. Kāyā Nagarī Kā Rājā, you are the king of this whole body." Do you know what is going on in your kingdom? If your kingdom is not under your view and control, you fail to be a king. You become the slave. You lose the dignity of being a king. So, make good decisions always. Do not always do what others say. Do it. Work. From what will you live? What will you eat? Do not force anyone to work; they will work. Who gave the beak will give the food also. "Wer Schnabel gegeben hat, wird auch Futter geben." Stimmt? So ist das. Why did God give you the beak? Nicht nur für chi, chi,... pi, pi,... pi. But also for hum, hum... hum. And so mum gives something for hum. And Gurudev gives you so'ham. Therefore, follow your intuition. Your work and relaxation should be balanced. Remember, work and relaxation are balanced. It means now you are not in stress. Otherwise, it is called burnout. Because you work too long and too hard, therefore, do not be nervous. You will work. Your wife should have confidence in you. She should not force you to go and work, nor your husband, nor your parents, nor your mother. That is it. So, your decision is the best decision. And your decision, which you have been thinking about for weeks and months—check once more within, so do not depend on the outside. Then you will be happy. Then the material world and spiritual world will be balanced. Otherwise, if you pray and think God will give, and you say, "I do not want to work. Who gave the beak will give the food." God said, "Yes, I made a mistake." I did not make a mistake. I gave you the beak. At the same time, I gave you wings and legs. Go and search for your food. Find your food. That is it. So God has given everything. Therefore, take rest. Relax. Then again, some intuition will come. Yes, but I should not give. You have a talent for painting, but your parents are forcing you to be a musician, and you do not understand what it is. A person like me is not talented in music. So, your talent, you know; work according to that, and you will be successful. There, you can put yourself in. You are not forced by outer forces. So, it is very easy. If all will follow these instructions, then this global crisis will not suffer. We have enough. Mother Earth has given enough for everyone's need, but not for the greed of those companies. Therefore, the one who is happy is the best farmer. He grows vegetables, crops. If I have a cow for milk and ariyob, that is it. What I want to say is: trust in you. When you trust in you, then you trust in God. And research thyself spiritually, mentally, and also physically, I mean. Okay? So, practice, practice, practice. When you are waiting for someone's telephone call whom you love very much, you are waiting, looking, waiting. And the telephone rings. "Hello? Yes, is this car number yours? Who's speaking? Police." What a problem, no? So, we are waiting for Gurudev for blessing, for love, for the divine. Waiting and waiting, and waiting is beautiful. Night and day, night and day, I look for thee night and day.